A song comes on. It’s ours; mine; no one’s. It reminds me of something, something that makes me long for someone; someone in particular, no one in particular, anyone, no one. I miss a feeling, a feeling given by people, a person, one at a time and never all the way. I want them all back, and none of them back. I want him back, but know I can’t have him. Sometimes he doesn’t feel right for what I want, not as this. I want a feeling, a touch, a person. I want a role to be filled, but filled right – not just some stand-in like last time, like all the times before.
Another song comes on. It’s no different. The same need, the same want, the same cold feeling on my back and under my arms and around my solar plexus. Different song, same longing.
Piano. Always piano.
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Comments
Interesting. I would like to see you develop this a little more when you have time
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Maybe I will. I kind of barely remember it now, 'cause I was sleep depping when I wrote/posted it, and so...yeah. But we'll see.
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mrow~ <3
sbp = <3
I like the idea. I like all the pauses you put in. Commas don't seem right for them, though. Commas don't seem... dramatic enough. Something like that?
Anywho, I half concur with Jayna. Part of me thinks it would be awesome if you developed it some more; the other part of me thinks you shouldn't touch it because it's beautiful the way it is.
... I read it! :3 <3
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Believe in the light, and let the dark clouds float on by.
Mmm....I feel like the commas are there because they're grammatically correct; I don't like to overuse the semicolon. Still, I know what you mean. I might go back through and change them.
Mm, well, I dunno how I could continue it...I don't see anywhere to expand on: it's complete in my mind. So I think I'm going to let it be, but thanks for the compliment. :3
Yay! Thanks for reading it and letting me know. <3
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mrow~ <3
sbp = <3
I'm sort of breaking grammatically correct writing if it sounds better to me, but that's just me. You could use periods?
I think it seems complete. It's one of those pieces you COULD but don't necessary have to expand on. It's awesome. :3
You are welcome. <3
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Believe in the light, and let the dark clouds float on by.
Yeah, well, normally i break grammatical correctness whenever i feel like it, but for some reason i didn't do that with these commas. i think i just love commas too much. i could always just use the ever-infamous double dash "--" or a [semi.]colon or what have you. i dunno, i just used commas. hm.
Really? i just...i dunno. i had a thought, i wrote it down. i don't see where i could expand. But i guess that's the curse of being too close to your work, or whatever.
:3 <3
--
mrow~ <3
sbp = <3
--
Believe in the light, and let the dark clouds float on by.
--
mrow~ <3
sbp = <3
--
Believe in the light, and let the dark clouds float on by.
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